The Slacker Mom

The big divide amongst moms used to be working moms vs. stay at home moms, but now it’s Alphas vs. Slackers. In case you have been under a rock somewhere and haven’t heard these latest definitions, here goes. Alphas are the moms that do it all. They run the PTA, plan bake sales, organize the phone tree when something big happens and manage all the major school fundraisers. The slackers avoid the job of class mom like the plague, forget school events like Halloween costume day, and usually like to join the PTA but never attend a meeting.

If the slacker description sounds personal, it is. I did once forget it was Halloween-dress-up-day and had to run home to find my daughter a last minute costume. As a slacker mom I have one major issue… the name. I think “Beta mom” is much better because it implies a different choice, not a wrong choice. Speaking on behalf of slacker moms everywhere, I don’t participate because I want to spend my free time with my kids. I know my daughter’s teacher very well, I try to do some kind of project with the kids in her class, I bring snacks, donate money, but I honestly feel that all my extra time has to be spent with my family and that includes my husband.

Sometimes maintaining the role of slacker is hard for me. Walking through my daughter’s pre-school felt like a trip back to high school. What are all the cool mom’s doing? Who will run for class president? Who will get picked for honor society? Who will get the lead in the school play? At this point in my inner dialogue I usually say, “SNAP OUT OF IT”. Seriously, I did all that in high school and at this point I just don’t care.

My job is often my excuse, but a lot of Alpha mom’s have full-time jobs. They work all day then run the PTA at night. I truly don’t know how they do it. When do they have time to play cards with their kids, read the paper, have sex with their hubby or watch “American Idol”? They are probably just a lot more organized than I am.

The musical Oklahoma has a song that says, “Oh the farmer and the cowman should be friends” and maybe that applies to Alphas and Slackers. When you think about it, we need each other. Leaders need followers and some of us need someone to tell us where to bring the cupcakes and when to dress up our kids for Halloween.

Comments

I used to work for the "Alpha" mom and I'll tell you how they do it...assistants...not to be confused with "assistance". Person, not verb. The woman I used to work for was a full time multi-million dollar producing Real Estate Agent, President of her HomeOwners Association, President of the Women's Clubs at her church (as well as a member of several clubs that have meeting several times a month) plus served on several (I think about 10) different community organizations/charities. Lunch with hubby had to be scheduled (and usually cancelled) as did important meetings with clients.
Personally, I care about my community, but I care about my kids a lot more. I'm never to busy to stop and blow bubbles, go down the slide or sit and watch a full cartoon with my kids. I'd rather be a "Slacker" mom than spread myself so thin as an "Alpha" mom. My kids need me more than the PTA does.

AMEN! Trysha said it all! While I don't know if her example is true of all Alpha Mom's, I completely fall into the slacker category. I volunteer my time, but feel spread thin and short of patience when I do. Can we have a "Mom with good intentions" category? :)

What about the "In Between Moms" those mamas who don't forget things but aren't out there pleasing the community and the PTA they are at home pleasing their families and at work during the 8-5 pleasing their bosses and no one else! Family and career can work if you don't over do it. This means not too much over time at work or at home. When you are working you need to be focused on that (pending disaster at home) and when you are at home you should be tuned into your kids (pending disaster at work) and those pending disasters are few and far between.

I am an Alpha Mom who also enjoys the benefits of a Beta Mom and no, I do not have an "Assistant", as one post pointed out. I'm an Executive Director of a non-profit by day, Treasurer for the Band Boosters, a 4-H Leader and have been in other offices of clubs that my daugher belonged to. We camp, fish and my daughter shows rabbits and lambs all over two states. I do it by being organized and only being involved in non-work related activities that my daughter is involved in. I did my time in community service before she was born, now I'm serving time in her interests. I say no to projects that don't directly involve our interests as a family right now. I plan my schedule to protect time for family in my days and I use my cell phone to allow me work from wherever our family plan take us.

I like this site!

Wow! Someone who sounds like me! I love being a stay at home mom with both kids in school all day (8 & 14)... I feel this is my time and enjoy every minute of "slacking"... as soon as they come home I'm on...until bedtime and then that is mommy and daddy time! I don't feel guilty anymore, life is too short...volunteering every once in a while is fine, but don't over do it! Thanks for sharing slacker friend!

Wow! Someone who sounds like me! I love being a stay at home mom with both kids in school all day (8 & 14)... I feel this is my time and enjoy every minute of "slacking"... as soon as they come home I'm on...until bedtime and then that is mommy and daddy time! I don't feel guilty anymore, life is too short...volunteering every once in a while is fine, but don't over do it! Thanks for sharing slacker mom!