Thanksgiving 2058

My stepsons are spending spring break with us and I love watching them interact with their half-sister. The boys indulge her endlessly and her laughter is contagious as it rings throughout the house. Charlotte is crazy about her “broders,” but am I kidding myself to picture them someday spending Thanksgiving together long after my husband and I are dead? Probably.

I have many friends who have just one child, and they all look at me as the lucky one because my daughter has siblings without my having to do the usual nine months of hard time pregnant. I wonder though, will she ever experience an amazing relationship like I have with my sister? I’m talking about the kind of relationship where you are so comfortable with the other person that words are not necessary, yet you talk endlessly just because you both have so much to say. I think my stepsons will have that with each other, but I fear Charlotte will become a sort of footnote. Will they periodically wonder to each other, “What ever happened to our little sister?”

When these thoughts enter my head I realize I could either secretly poke holes through all our condoms or remember that a sister is more about connection than blood. I have a friend who is obsessed with supplying her child with a brother or sister, and I do mean obsessed…. Years of painful fertility work obsessed. Ironically, when I asked her about her own sibling she said, “My brother is a jerk and I haven’t spoken to him in years.” Perhaps society tells us we must have more than one child. I was so thrilled with my daughter after she was born and, like every Mother, thought she was perfect, yet the response from most people upon meeting her was, “When are you going to have another”. I always felt insulted and wanted to say, “We are quite happy with her.”

Blended families are often a rag tag collection of kids whose main connection is that their parents randomly fell in love and made them all related. The key is … keep your expectations low. Make sure the children don’t kill each other and remember, they could hate each other just as much if they were 100% blood. Enjoy the moments when the laughter fills your home and picture all of the kids, step-, half- and whole, sitting down to a turkey with your grandchildren. It could happen! Really!

Comments

My sister and I are very close, but I also have that so close you don't need to speak connection with a cousin I only see a few times a year. She can have that sister connection with anyone, it's about chemistry as much as biology. :)