Epiphany

An epiphany is defined as “a comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization.” I think we all have moments that are epiphanies and I believe they are often tiny moments when we realize huge things. Usually, they don’t happen when you might expect it. Do the real ramifications of being a parent really hit you when they put that newborn baby in your arms and you are astonished that this little person is alive and that you created it? No, the real moment is when you can’t get the car seat to snap into its base and you are in front of the hospital frantically wondering why the doctors, all very smart people, are allowing you to take this baby home. A friend of mine adopted a small girl in China and she said, for her, it was when she had to figure out how to hold her new child when she had to poop because in China they don’t use diapers. She thought, as her daughter’s face grew red, “I am this child’s Mother forever!”

These moments seem to almost crystallize and stop time. I remember the first time I realized my husband was a father. It sounds ridiculous because we had been dating for quite a while and I had met his boys on several occasions. But there was this photograph… Michael was sitting watching TV and Everett, who was about six at the time, was sitting on him. They were both completely and utterly relaxed. I looked at that picture and thought, “Michael is a Dad” and all the ramifications of that responsibility hit me in an instance. My daughter will sometimes walk into a room and sit right on me, curling into my body until she is comfortable and I will think…just like Michael in the photo, I am a parent.

Epiphanies are sometimes Rites of Passage. When I was eleven, our cat got caught under our electric garage door. This may have been before they had sensors to automatically raise the door when you walk under it or perhaps it was broken, but for whatever reason, our cat was literally being crushed before our eyes. My Mother completely lost it! She ran around frantically and then tried to use a crowbar to pry the door open as it was pounding down on our kitten. I remember watching this and thinking for the first time ever, “She doesn’t know what she is doing.” She wouldn’t listen to my brother who wanted to press the garage door button again thereby simply opening it.…She screamed, “NO.” He ultimately went to the car and opened it from there. The cat was fine but I learned in an instant that my perfect Mom was all too human. Another epiphany? Absolutely.

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No diapers??? They don't use diapers??? Um, what do they do with baby waste??? Do they randomly put the baby over a toilet and hope that is when it has to go??? I am completely astonished at this concept. I have to find out what they do.

I think those "I'm really a Mommy" Rites of Passages happen often and you have to be aware of them. One of my most recent ones was when my youngest came home from pre-school with a macaroni necklace. I think it takes a special kind of mom to recognize the moments. It's not just in the running around, daily schedule...it's noticing the finger prints on the back window. And in case it wasn't clear from the hand prints, my bumper sticker says it all "MOMS ROCK!!"